Snapshots of Life

Sunday, February 06, 2011

La Famiglia

No group of people has had as profound and lasting an impact on me than my family. It seems only right to first attempt to offer a garment of praise to the major participants of that formative unit. Lest this be construed as a blogging brag session, allow me to preface. Home was not a perfect place. Like most families we fought, we made messes and mistakes, we complained, we ruined, we teased, and we even hurt each other at times. However, overall it was a place of love and acceptance. No matter what happened outside of home, I always knew that I was unconditionally loved and accepted by my family. I, in turn, love and accept each of them without condition or reservation. To each member of my family I offer praise. There are many traits and gifts that I recognize in each of them, but today I will focus on just one or two that are particularly meaningful to me, and perhaps also, less obvious to people outside the family.

My dad is a unique man in the world. This becomes more and more clear as I get older. In all my 30 years I have never once heard him raise his voice in anger or say an unkind word toward my mom. Not once. I think my siblings would say the same. This is remarkable to me as I observe other relationships and navigate the dynamics of marriage myself. His calm patience is unparalleled anywhere I've observed. He is also a genuinely meek and humble person. These terms are so misunderstood, I think, in our culture. The person truly possessed of humility does not know that they are humble. It is a trait that is unaware of itself. I've never seen my dad seek for status, position, wealth, or recognition - not even subtly or covertly. He is quietly confident and secure with himself but also knows on Whom he relies. Because there is no need to protect or defend an underlying fragile ego I've never discerned in him even a hint of jealousy, criticism, posturing, or comparison of others.

My mom is a sensitive soul. We most often think of parents watching kids grow and develop. We don't talk as much about kids watching parents grow, which of course they all obviously do through the process of raising a family and having other life experiences. It has been an inspiring thing to watch my mom reverse the effects of defeating early life experiences. That is not an easy journey to take but I know she has put all her heart and faith into it. Her sensitivity lends itself to service and to loyalty. She is absolutely committed to the gospel and has been a wonderful example of consecrating herself for the Lord's work. My mom always takes her callings seriously and works hard to give her best to God. She is another link in a chain of faithful saints who have given their all for the cause of the kingdom!

Lisel is my only older sibling and my only sister. I have always looked up to her. She always prepared the way for me in church and school, which made me - a relatively shy person - much more comfortable. I think it also facilitated life-long friendships, especially in high school. It has been pretty amazing to see her grow and develop as a person, particularly in her role as wife and mother. She is an incredible mom. Everyone always tells her that, and it's true! Somehow she has just the right combination of gifts and characteristics to focus on the meaningful priorities and enjoy the journey at the same time. One of the traits I most admire about Lisel is her ability to connect with others. She is very easy to get along with and has always made lots of friends wherever she has gone. If charity is kind, and envies not, and is not puffed up, and seeks not her own, and is not easily provoked, then I'd say she has charity.

Mike and I are only 16 months apart. We were frequently mistaken as twins growing up, though now we look quite different from each other (my 40 lbs in the past few years solved that problem!). We shared a lot together and Mike always helped to make things fun. Mike is known by many for his generous heart. Sometimes he acts tuff, but when it comes right down to it he is as giving as Santa Clause. Of the many traits that are praiseworthy within him, the one I would like to highlight is his determination. Some might say he is stubborn, but I think a more accurate description would be tenacious. A great example is Mike's decision last year to run a marathon. He started training and never missed a day. As far as I recall he never walked a single time in all of his training runs! Keep in mind that this was in the middle of winter in Vernal. I started to train several weeks after him and ended up giving up because of tendonitis after only getting up to 10 miles or so. But even before that, I definitely walked at times. When he puts his mind to something, he does it.

Tyler was named after my paternal grandfather and inherited his gifts for being a people person. He has a cheerful disposition just like the prophet Joseph, I imagine. He is also definitely the most outwardly touchy-feely among the bunch of us. He has a way of cheering people up along with him, which is a remarkable strength. Tyler should be recognized for his influence for good on people in his life. In high school he was the quarterback on a team where the great majority of the players did not share his values. Despite that pressure he stayed true to himself and influenced many of them in a positive direction. I have watched him do the same thing many times since then with other friends and people he has responsibility over. He has a capacity to reach out in non-judgmental ways to show genuine friendship and urge people to greater happiness by his example.

Shayne is the youngest and the smartest of all of us (Don't argue, Ty!). He is my superior in height, intellect, and dance skills, among other things! I could say a lot about his lack of self-consciousness and his courage to eat various assortments of nastiness, but that would possibly reinforce his daredevil ways and, more importantly, not give credit to his spiritual gifts. Shayne is wise beyond his years and is able to impart that wisdom in a very unassuming and even humorous way. His testimony of Jesus Christ has been forged through adversity. I've not met very many people with as pure a desire to do good before the Lord as Shayne. He has gone to great lengths to do that which is righteous and honorable, and he has succeeded. He is about to get married and I am confident that he will continue to be a great instrument in the hands of the Lord as he begins his family.

Several years ago under circumstances in which I realized I may be at death's door I experienced an unusual peace about that prospect. I was scared, but I was not scared of death. Strangely, I was comforted about that possibility and knew that I would be okay if it were to happen. The most difficult thought on that doorstep was that I would be leaving my family behind (I was not married at the time so Tania and Clara had not yet become my own family). It was the feeling that flowed from an image of being separated from people that I love so much that had me terrified. I am so grateful that never came to pass. I cannot begin to express how much they have inspired me, strengthened me, and taught me. I offer to each of them my most heartfelt praise.

7 comments:

Tania said...

What a beautiful post and the perfect way to begin your "garment of praise" series. You have been immensely blessed to be part of such an amazing family. I have felt privileged to get to know each of them, and have been overwhelmed by their goodness. I'm grateful to have been welcomed into such a righteous clan, and I am humbled to watch them and learn from them.

jmb275 said...

Very well done C. As one who has been able to watch you and your family on the outside for many many years, I really think you have perfectly described your family and the traits they have developed over the years.

You certainly are blessed!

B said...

I have loved the opportunity to get to know your family . . . especially your dad and mom. I have really learned to love them as I have served with them and been served by them. My transition from singles ward to family ward was definitely made easier knowing them through you and then getting to know them for myself. Thanks for sharing them with me. :)

Lisel said...

I'm sure you're not surprised that I might be crying a little :) I would echo the things you said about the others and add my praise to yours. I also very much appreciate your kind comments about me. I have always looked up to you and so your generous remarks mean a lot. The fact that you even had that experience always astounds me, but I totally understand those feelings. The thought of leaving loved ones behind or losing a loved one continually terrifies me. Your strength through that time is truly inspiring. You are more in-tune, have more faith, and are more willing to submit yourself to His will than anyone I know. Thanks for being such a great example and for such a great post. We are blessed indeed!

Shayne said...

I, like you, sometimes shrink away from publicly giving praise. Thanks for boldly going where few men have gone before and offering us all an example of how it can be done. God bless our family!

Shannon said...

Great post. I nodded my head and laughed or cried because your descriptions were so precise. Though I have to admit that I was surprised by the first impressions I got of your family. I heard fat lard, your getting fat and others. I quickly learned that these were not how any of you truly felt. Actions truly speak louder than words especially in your family. I love seeing the strength you get from one another, the willingness you are to help each other and the joy you get from just being together. There is so much love and support even for those of us who have married into the family. I am grateful and truly blessed to be apart of such a wonderful family.

Mike said...

I know that it always takes me a long time to read your blog posts and make comments on them. This is no exception. Thank you so much for the kind words of praise about me and the rest of the family. It is amazing how much my view of family has changed since I was a young teenager and did not understand how important family is. I think we have definitely had our rough times as a family but I love that as adults we never have real disputes and we always enjoy being together; any excuse for a family get together is a good one.

Thank you also for being such a great brother and friend to me. I have always looked up to you and admired you for you knowledge and intellect, you pure spirit, your ability to sense things around you and your ability to help others.

Thank you for your post and I look forward to the next ones!