To Anonymous

I attempted to reply to comments posted by anonymous on my recent series of posts, but I got way too long-winded and it wouldn't let me publish a comment that long! Apparently there is a limit of 4,096 characters (random number!) and this response is 4,812. If you're interested, please see the comment feed from the previous post to follow the dialogue.

Anonymous,

I obviously know who you are. Again, I appreciate your feedback and have thought deeply about what you have shared. Please know that my recent posts have not been directed at any one individual. They have been the result of observations in the world around me over the past numerous months. I sincerely love you. The plain fact is, I miss you.

I will clarify a couple of points and then let my comments and your comments stand for what they are (obviously you can feel free to make any additional comments you wish to make). First, narcissistic personality disorder is a disorder of the character or personality of an individual with a pervasive pattern of traits (mentioned in part I) across various domains of life that cause significant impairment. Nevertheless, as with many mental disorders there is a severity spectrum. Someone with this disorder may actually appear quite functional in many aspects of their life. I used an example of what the disorder may look like to illustrate the meaning of the word, with all of its nuances. Often the word narcissism is used interchangeably with the word arrogant or egotistical in common language, but I think it is really quite a bit more than that. However, in talking about intellectual narcissism I switched and was not talking about a diagnosable condition, which is why I repeatedly referred to traits, tendencies, and characteristics. In fact, I even said that often the person with intellectual narcissism from my observation does not necessarily exhibit that narcissism in other areas of their life. I was using the word to express an attitude and a presentation exhibited by some. If this was, or still is, confusing or unclear, I apologize.

Second, I did not suggest that anyone who "merely" disagrees with "my" prophet is an intellectual narcissist. Nor did I suggest that people who get PhDs, use sophisticated vocabulary, or rely on something other than prophetic authority to find truth are intellectual narcissists. It is important to note that I was obviously speaking to a Latter-day Saint audience. I suggested that people who love and inflate their intellect, their degrees, and their vocabulary and use them to put themselves above the revealed word, the prophets, and sometimes God Himself may be intellectual narcissists. I also suggested people with an excessive focus on the intellect at the expense of the spirit, who then use that gift to tear down others and vaunt themselves may be intellectual narcissists as well.

Third, you have implied in your comments here and in your comments in a previous post that I am somehow opposed to truth discovery in any form other than "prophetic authority". This is not the case. I happen to believe in truth from any and all sources from which real truth may sprout. I find doctrines and practices rooted in truth from science, Buddhism, Native American traditions, Catholicism, and many other sources beautiful, miraculous, and profound. I have no qualms with seeming discrepancies. The world is not black and white. I have personal faith that all truth can be circumscribed into one great whole. What I take issue with is the rejection or criticism of truth, no matter its source and no matter its target. Just because I generally write about truths as expressed in Mormonism does not mean that I reject truth from other sources, as long as it is truth. Each person must find that truth for themselves. I may disagree with their methods and their conclusions (and, I believe, should be able to express that) but that does not mean I do not appreciate their efforts. I may even make judgments about their methods and conclusions but I try hard not to make judgments about them! I admit that this was not expressed well in the posts, thus creating an "us vs. them" feel. I have learned for next time.

Fourth, I love President Uchtdorf too! :)

Fifth, I absolutely agree that perceived righteousness is an invitation to pride. Is there pride in me? I am full of it. I pray daily that I can root it out of me and be truly humble. My faith invites me to a conversion of the heart, to be a true disciple of Jesus Christ. That's what I want more than anything in the world. I do not want to be a hypocrite who self-righteously performs checklists and adheres to "cultural doctrines". I do not just "claim" to direct these posts to me - I DO. Are there narcissistic traits in me? Without question. I'm working on that as well. Is there a beam in my eye? There are probably a few. I do appreciate the reminder (that is not sarcastic - I really do).

Sixth, while I disagree with some of the conclusions you have come to in your life, and it appears that you disagree with some of mine, please give me the benefit of the doubt that I have not "forgotten" that "one must depend on God himself and the spirit to decide what is right despite what that authority figure says". I know and trust that your conclusions have not come from a place of malice or ill intent. I know that there has been significant struggle that has brought you to where you are. Please know that it is also excruciating spiritual and emotional struggle that has brought me to where I am. You suggest it is "easy" to "decide that one particular man speaks for God". But I would like to offer that sometimes it is actually quite difficult. It is ONLY because of God and the Spirit that I have taken the path I have taken, independent of any other. It is the personal witness to my mind and heart that has led me to faith, when it would have been significantly more "easy" to go elsewhere. It is the wonderful comfort, the reassuring grace, the unmistakable testimony that has come from Him in the midst of my own suffering that has brought me to want to follow Him and His servants, imperfectly as I do.

I ask for your forgiveness for any offense I have caused in this discussion. I express my love and my desire for eternal friendship.

-C.J.

Intellectual Narcissism: Part III

The word of God, both ancient and modern, abounds with references to the intellectual narcissist, though that phrase is never used. Scripture and the teachings of modern-day prophets provide prophecies and warnings regarding the man, woman, or society that loves itself and its intellect more than God.

Prophecies

In discussing the "perilous times" of the "last days", Paul the Apostle wrote to Timothy that, "Men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud...heady, highminded, lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God; having a form of Godliness, but denying the power thereof...ever learning, and never able to come to a knowledge of the truth" (2 Tim 3:1-7, italics added).

In Lehi's great dream found in the beginning of the Book of Mormon he saw a group of people who were "clinging" to the iron rod (side note - this is a very interesting word choice here if you compare it to another group of people who pressed forward "continually holding fast" to the rod in 1 Ne. 8:30) and pressing forward to partake of the fruit of the tree of life. They made it to the tree and began to partake of the fruit but became "ashamed" after the exceedingly fine dressed men and women in a great and spacious building started mocking them. After they had partaken of the glorious, sweet, and precious fruit they "fell away into forbidden paths and were lost" because they were embarrassed (1 Ne. 8:24-30). Later when Nephi receives the same dream with additional interpretation we are informed as to what the great and spacious building represents, "Behold the world and the wisdom thereof...the pride of the world (1 Ne. 11:35-36).

In the great prophetic chapters at the conclusion of 2 Nephi, Nephi teaches us again about the latter days, "...and they shall teach with their learning, and deny the Holy Ghost, which giveth utterance. And they deny the power of God...Yea, and there shall be many which shall teach after this manner, false and vain and foolish doctrines, and shall be puffed up in their hearts, and shall seek deep to hide their counsels from the Lord..." (2 Ne. 28:4-9, italics added).

Mormon and Moroni saw our day. Moroni wrote, "I know that ye do walk in the pride of your hearts; and there are none save a few only who do not lift themselves up in the pride of their hearts...unto envying, and strifes, and malice, and persecutions...O ye pollutions, ye hypocrites, ye teachers, who sell yourselves for that which will canker, why have ye polluted the church of God? Why are ye ashamed to take upon you the name of Christ?" (Mormon 8:35-38, italics added).

Finally, from the Savior himself we discover that in the last days some of the "very elect, who are the elect according to the covenant" shall be deceived (JS-Matt 1:22).

Indeed, it is clear that it has long been prophesied that in the latter days intellectual narcissism would be prevalent and prominent. It also appears that, among other issues, it has been and will increasingly be a source of self-deceit and apostasy - including among the elect, even those that have tasted of the precious fruit of the tree of life.

Warnings

The scriptures and words of prophets are also abundant with warnings regarding intellectual pride.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave a wonderful talk years ago entitled, Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall (see speeches.byu.edu). In the discourse he states, "Satan uses every possible device to accomplish his purpose to degrade and enslave every soul...We generally think of Satan attacking us at our weakest spot...But our weakness are not the only areas where we are vulnerable. Satan can also attack us where we think we are strong - in the very areas where we are proud of our strengths. He will approach us through the greatest talents and spiritual gifts we possess. If we are not wary, Satan can cause our spiritual downfall by corrupting us through our strengths as well as by exploiting our weaknesses...Other illustrations of how our strengths can become our downfall concern the activity of learning. A desire to know is surely a great strength. A hunger to learn is laudable, but the fruits of learning make a person particularly susceptible to the sin of pride...It is easy for the learned and the accomplished to forget their own limitations and their total dependence upon God. Accomplishments in higher education bring persons much recognition and real feelings of self-sufficiency. But we should remember the Book of Mormon's frequent cautions not to boast in our own strength or wisdom lest we be left to our own strength or wisdom."

From Lehi's dream we see the tragic ending for the wisdom of the world as found in that great and spacious building. "And it came to pass that I saw and bear record, that the great and spacious building...fell, and the fall thereof was exceedingly great...Thus shall be the destruction of all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people, that shall fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb" (1 Ne. 11:36, italics added).

From the great prophecies of Nephi we hear, "O the wise, and the learned, and the rich, that are puffed up in the pride of their hearts, and all those who preach false doctrines...wo, wo, wo be unto them, saith the Lord God Almighty, for they shall be thrust down to hell!...Yea, wo be unto him that hearkeneth unto the precepts of men, and denieth the power of God, and the gift of the Holy Ghost!...And in fine, wo unto all those who tremble, and are angry because of the truth of God! For behold, he that is built upon the rock receiveth it with gladness...Cursed is he that putteth his trust in man, or maketh flesh his arm, or shall hearken unto the precepts of man..." (2 Ne. 28:15, 26, 28, 31).

From Isaiah we are warned, "Wo unto them that call evil good, and good evil, that put darkness for light, and light for darkness, that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Wo unto the wise in their own eyes and prudent in their own sight!" (2 Ne. 15:20-21, italics added).

Finally, the most direct words come from Jacob, the brother of Nephi. "O that cunning plan of the evil one! O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men! When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not. And they shall perish." (2 Ne. 9:28).

Needless to say, there are a lot of "woes" directed toward the intellectual narcissist! May we remember that "to be learned is good, IF [we] hearken unto the counsels of God" (2 Ne. 9:29). Humility and charity are the great antidotes to the spiritual poison of narcissism.

Intellectual Narcissism: Part II

In the previous post I attempted to define the intellectual, the narcissist, and the intellectual narcissist. It is obvious that the most susceptible crowd to intellectual narcissism is the learned and educated. The gaining of knowledge and intelligence is a noble thing, indeed. However, paradoxically, sometimes our strengths are our greatest weakness.

One of the problems (among many) with intellectual narcissism is that it can have a detrimental effect on faith and spirituality. From a latter-day saint perspective I can see at least two significant issues with this kind of narcissism interfacing with spirituality:

1) In the individual where it finds expression there is typically an arrogant focus on the intellect and reason alone for determining and confirming truth. Again, there is nothing wrong with the intellect or reason, even in matters of spirituality (D&C 88:78-80, 118; 90:15; 93:36; 130:18-19). In fact, we learn that knowledge and wisdom - and the ability to teach those attributes - are spiritual gifts (Moro. 10:9-10; D&C 46:17-18). Nevertheless, a hyper-focus on intellect alone tends to naturally alienate or dismiss thoughts and feelings that are whispered by the unseen Still, Small Voice to the "mind and heart". Intellectual reason encourages acceptance, among other criteria, of observable, repeatable, and quantifiable results to determine truth - appropriately so, I believe. But consequently, when taken alone, any other form of truth discovery, such as those thoughts and feelings mentioned above, is explained away with reductionistic physiological and psychological theories. So, something like the powerful conversion of a soul with accompanying changes of thought, feeling, and behavior, might be described in terms of firing neurotransmitters or attachment theory. As a result, promptings, revelations, miracles, faith, and other spiritual experiences are viewed with disdain, sympathy, or academic distance and either watered-down or rejected; even though the intellectual postulates fall flat in the face of the experience and results of something like a mighty change of heart in an individual life!

For the intellectual narcissist the discovery and recognition of great spiritual truth can thus be impaired, much like seeing the world through one eye. The impairment is often fueled by their perceived success at being a uniquely rational and objective person. Such perceptions tie into their fantasies of ideal intelligence and their need for admiration and acceptance by like-minded intellectuals.

2) Narcissism and pride are twins, who are always found in company together. With the paradigm described above, and the twin characteristics just noted lodged in the heart, there is a tendency for the intellectual narcissist to place him or herself above the word of God. They will not accept that "as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are [God's] ways higher than [our] ways, and [his] thoughts than [our] thoughts" (Isa 55:9). They go about ignoring, criticizing, and/or rejecting God's doctrine and His chosen servants, having - for some at least - forgotten sacred covenants.

There is a story in the Old Testament that at first glance appears rather brutal. The Philistines had captured the ark of the covenant and taken it away after a battle. After having been cursed with plagues they gave the ark back and King David retrieved it to bring it back to Jerusalem. As they traveled, the story goes, the oxen shook the ark so that it appeared it was about to fall. Uzzah "put forth his hand" to prevent the ark from falling and "took hold of it". Uzzah, despite good intentions, made a terrible mistake and "God smote him there for his error". (See 2 Sam. 6:1-11).

This may seem extreme, but a powerful lesson is being taught. The ark of the covenant was a symbol of God's presence. In the temple only the high priest could approach it in the Holy of Holies, and then only with very clear prerequisites. Uzzah's error was that he did not have stewardship or authority to touch the ark, and, most importantly, he doubted that God knew what He was doing and had all power to protect the workmanship of His hands. He presumptuously reached forth to "steady the ark" when it was not his place to do so and God (remember the symbolism here) did not need steadying from a mere mortal.

The ark-steadiers today are those who, even with good intentions, believe they know better than God and the prophets about how to direct His work. They are not those who may be struggling with a particular doctrine or practice and humbly working toward acceptance and testimony. They are, instead, those who may pridefully proclaim that doctrines and prophets are in error. They then seek to counsel the Lord instead of taking counsel from His hand, even though He counsels "in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all His works" (Jacob 4:10). This is where a sense of entitlement is especially evident. The intellectual narcissist ark-steadier - with his or her IQ, PhD, and worldly philosophy in hand - tells the church and its leaders by book and blog, by tweet and testimony, what they should and should not be doing. Their unsolicited opinion is rooted in personal preference and self-proclaimed learning. Tragically some get to the point where they eventually exalt themselves to be prophets unto themselves while they reject the oracles of God, and are left to "kick against the pricks". Like Elder Maxwell used to say, "There will always be some who leave the church but can never leave it alone."

President McKay, speaking of the story of Uzzah, stated, "He seemed justified, when the oxen stumbled, in putting forth his hand to steady that symbol of the covenant...[but] let us look around us and see how quickly men who attempt unauthoritatively to steady the ark die spiritually. Their souls become embittered, their minds distorted, their judgments faulty, and their spirits depressed. Such is the pitiable condition of men who, neglecting their own responsibilities, spend their time in finding fault with others." (McKay, Gospel Ideals, p. 258).

No doubt about it, intellectual narcissism erodes, if not destroys, faith and spirituality. It leads to rejection of revelation and spiritual manifestation. It leads to rejection of the prophets and counseling the Lord.

Stay tuned for part III, dealing with prophecies and warnings.

Intellectual Narcissism: Part I

Intellectual:

1) a person of superior intellect.

2) a person who places a high value on or pursues things of interest to the intellect or the more complex forms or fields of knowledge.

3) an extremely rational person; a person who relies on intellect rather than on emotions or feelings.

Narcissism:

This term has its roots in Greek mythology from the character Narcissus. The story says that Narcissus haughtily rejected romantic admirers and was therefore cursed by the gods to fall in love with himself. One day in the woods he saw his reflection in a pond and fell in love with the mirrored manifestation of himself. He was doomed to pine away his love on an image that could never return the same. He sat at the pond until he died there, unable to leave the grips of his love for the person in the pond, who was actually himself.

In the mental health world we define narcissism as an inflated or grandiose sense of self. It is characterized by several traits:

- An arrogant or haughty attitude with exaggerated self-importance (inflates perceived talents and achievements).

- A sense of entitlement (expects especially favorable treatment and compliance with personal preferences).

- A belief of being special or unique such that the rules for others do not apply to self.

- Fantasies of ideal power, intelligence, love, success, riches, etc.

- An excessive need for praise and admiration from others.

- Envy of others or belief that others are envious of oneself.

- A lack of empathy, the ability to understand the feelings and needs of others.

To a certain extent there is narcissism in all of us. Unfortunately in some it is found in greater degrees and often causes significant impairment in their life, particularly in their relationships (as you might imagine). At the root of narcissism is shame - shame of oneself and in oneself at the core, which is compensated with an inflated ego. Rarely is there full insight and awareness into the shame or the outward narcissism. The narcissist is so fragile internally that most challenges are met with a narcissistic defense, which takes the form of criticism of the challenger or a display of the narcissist's perceived "gifts".

For example, I once worked with a woman (details of story are adjusted to protect identity and confidentiality) for a short time in an acute setting. She was constantly making references to her "position" in the community. She endlessly talked about herself and made sure to drop details about her achievements so that all might recognize her grandeur. She was divorcing her spouse of many years after she engaged in a long pattern of destructive behavior, but it was all "his fault". She had also just lost her job but it was only because the people under her just didn't want to make the environment a better one like she did. The individual was unable to find treatment in Logan because providers just weren't "good enough". Finally, I attempted to lightly and empathically confront the narcissism. I gave her several chapters of a book to read on the subject. She appeared receptive initially and agreed to read. The following day I met with her again. She claimed to have read the whole book. Her only comments were literary criticisms of the author, and she "ought to know" about these things because she had done such and such for many years! Needless to say, the diagnosis had been solidified.

There are several easy to identify examples of narcissism from people in the news these days: Rod Blagojevich (impeached former Illinois governor charged with trying to "sell" the senate seat previously held by President Obama), Rush Limbaugh (controversial radio talk show host who displays a life size portrait of himself in his entry to his home), Lindsay Lohan (decompensating former child star and recent jail bird), and Tiger Woods (pro golfer and sex addict). Sorry to any of you fans out there. I'm not suggesting any of these people are bad people. I'm suggesting that they exhibit observable narcissistic tendencies.

Folks with strong narcissistic traits are not always so blatant. In fact, it is my experience that many times the characteristics are much more subtle. Some narcissists have developed social savvy sufficient to conform to appropriate norms and mores. So, they may be skilled at outward expressions of empathy but at deeper levels do not really feel or act on empathy to any great degree. There is usually hubris in their humility. A sense of entitlement becomes most obvious in their more intimate relationships. Secret fantasies of being rich and famous, or powerful and heroic, or noble and brilliant often fill their imagination. Quiet jealousy reigns when neighbor buys the Escalade, or friend gets accepted to a great school, or acquaintance gets called to a position of authority. Considerable mental time is spent on considering how much better they could carry out a task, calling, or responsibility than the person currently doing it. Behavior is commonly geared toward how it will make them appear in the eyes of others, usually with the hope of getting praise or affirmation. Even when empathy or service is extended it is usually the means to an end (recognition), rather than an end itself. When others do not like them or show apathy toward them it is either because they (the others) are stupid or jealous. Of course, in the subtle narcissist none of these traits would be overtly displayed or expressed lest they be exposed. Instead, they find place in the more private parts of the self.

Intellectual Narcissism:

There are different kinds of narcissism. This particular phrase is not of my own making. I heard it from Truman G. Madsen (well-known Mormon scholar). I don't know if he coined the term or not. I think it is an apt union of words for a certain type of narcissism that seems to be more and more pervasive in the world - or at least I am noticing it more. It is something I have thought about at length. The intellectual narcissist would not be considered narcissistic in most aspects of life, but they would fit the criteria for narcissism in areas of the intellect. They are in love with their own self-attributed brilliance. They cannot get enough of their own words and their own theories. They lack real empathy for others' positions, though they likely give empathy lip service. They long for praise and recognition. They pretend to be humble but really view themselves and their opinions as superior to others who are "less educated", "naive", "emotional", or "fooled". They fantasize about using their brain power and ideas to heal the world, or expose the powerful, or discover the answers to the worlds most pressing problems; again, not to do good but to be seen. They find great satisfaction in displaying reservoirs of knowledge and information, using obscure vocabulary and complex concepts, to show how smart they are, especially if it makes someone feel small or awed in the process. They have likely received positive reinforcement for their intellectual capacity or achievement in the past and base much of their self-concept and their self-esteem on their ability to think and reason and philosophize. They see their world around them not revolving quite the same without their intellectual light.

Stay tuned for part II.

Landscaping

This summer we are taking on the project of landscaping our yard. After thousands of dollars, which is stressing me out, we are making good progress. It began with getting a final grade on our lot, which is made up of very fine quality Richmond CLAY. Then we had 3' boulders delivered to deal with a little slope in our front yard and also create a planter/flower bed. When the boulders arrived they looked ginormous and we were a bit concerned, but they turned out nice. After that we got our sprinklers done and then laid sod throughout the whole yard. We had lots of family and ward members help us out, which was greatly appreciated. We even lucked out with a nice day in the midst of a month straight of rainy weather.

About three days after we laid the sod it began to look terrible! We thought we were going to lose it, and this after all our neighbors had been telling us, "Oh, you can't screw up sod!" But apparently we were. With a little help from our landscaper neighbor, it came back from the brink of death.

We spent the next FHE planting flowers and shrubs in the bed in the front.

I could spend every day in the yard doing what needs to get done but we have been sidetracked by various events and visits to Salt Lake, not to mention the dreaded on-call routine. Anyway, the inaugural mowing occurred last week, which required the purchase of a mower and a weed-eater - more money! Finally yesterday I got to spend the whole day, from dawn until dusk, working on our projects. I stained the patio and back stairs with the help of my father-in-law, hauled in compost from a neighbor for the various gardens, and worked the rest of the day on an island planter in the front. Tania and I prepped the darn clay and mixed in compost and got it ready for planting. We took a trip to town to purchase plants at Lowe's. Unfortunately, we do not have a truck, van, or SUV. This meant that we had to fit a 9-10' tree into Tania's little Saturn. It was quite the task, particularly since Clara was SCREAMING her face off throughout the maneuvering. We received many a strange look from passers-by, but we finally did it by strategically placing the tree through the trunk into the back seat, over the front seat, and out the front passenger window. We managed to only break off 3-4 branches (probably not the best thing to do with a sapling)! It's been fun to see the progress and I enjoy doing the work, it's very cathartic.

Now to the back yard...