I'm a Lucky Man

The other night I attended my 10-year high school reunion.  Long live Granite High!  I guess it will have to live on in our memories since the stupid school board closed it down this year.  I'm still bitter about that.  It was doomed to fail when they turned it into an alternative school.  Anyway, we had a great turn out and it was a lot of fun to see people from the past and walk the hallways of Granite again.  The experience also caused me some reflection.  I thought about the events of the past ten years and the choices I've made.  In such situations as these one inevitably observes the trajectories of other lives.  As I left I felt very grateful for the course my life has taken, and for my lifestyle.  I judge no one and I appreciate that people can find joy and fulfillment in many ways, but for me, I was filled with thankfulness for what I have and what I don't have.  It is more than I ever would have hoped for!  Here are just a few reasons why I am such a lucky man, with pictures from our summer.

First, I live in such an incredible world, full of amazing beauty.  Occasionally, I even get to enjoy some free time in it, like vacations to Lake Powell.  

Second, I am part of the greatest family ever.  I am so thankful for the friendship and fun that we share together.

Third, I live in the greatest little town with my little family in the very place where my forbears lived and worked.  I even get to take care of a garden (which is thriving, by the way) in soil that was likely tilled and worked with their own hands!

Fourth, we have the good fortune to be able to build a home that we have picked out, in a neighborhood full of good families, in an awesome ward, in a great town, in a beautiful valley. Progress is being seen daily.

Fifth, I am married to an incredible woman, who does SO much for me.  What's even more, she is pregnant with our little girl and so far mom and baby are healthy.  These two blessings are especially amazing to me.  They may seem quite ordinary to many, but to me there is no question that they are miracles!

Above all, I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I am not naive enough to believe that you must have the gospel to have a happy, productive, and wonderful life.  I am not naive enough to believe that with the gospel you are guaranteed a happy, productive, and wonderful life.  Nevertheless, I feel blessed beyond measure to be a witness of its wonder and a recipient of its promises.  It is the foundation of my life.  It is my strength and my joy.  Life can be complicated and life can be hard.  God requires the sacrifice of that which will stretch us the most.  Sometimes the stretching seems almost too much to bear, but I join the psalmist who said, "In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy comforts delight my soul!"    

The Big Dig

Last Friday they finally started digging on our lot!  They have made good progress despite the horrible, rainy weather.  We now have a foundation and a basement.  Hopefully the rain will stop and the framing will go quickly.

 

In the Garden

There is just something about working outside.  I've always enjoyed yard work even though I complained about it at times as a kid.  It is rewarding to do a little manual labor after being in an office most of the time, not to mention to see things take shape.  When my dad and uncle bought the lot of land here in Richmond that has been in the family for over a century it was in a pretty sad shape.  With the previous owner being an elderly great-uncle, and far away, it was left to a property manager and renters to keep up the work, which rarely turns out well.  Now though, the yard is slowly transforming.  My dad and uncle have done a lot of work to clean the place up, including currently building a new home since the old family home burned down.  In the back of our little rental home (which used to by my great-great-grandfather's shoe shop) was a plot of weeds as high as the fence.  Last fall my uncle sprayed them in hopes to kill and clear them this year.  This spring I cleared all the remaining debris including dead weeds, glass, rocks, garbage, weeds, bottles, weeds, wood, weeds, etc.  I borrowed a tiller and set out to create a garden.  It is a larger garden plot than I have ever worked on, measuring about 30' x 30'.  Friday we made a trip to the local greenhouse to purchase starters and plants in all their varieties.  Yesterday, though I was on call at the hospital, I started one more round of clearing weeds and turning soil, hoping to plant as well.  It was a beautiful day.  I lucked out and didn't get called in!  I was able to get all the plants and seeds in even before some nasty gusting winds attempted to ruin my progress.  It was fun and therapeutic.  Come late summer and early fall we will hopefully have a harvest of tomatoes of all kinds; zucchini, summer, and spaghetti squash; peppers of different sorts, watermelon, cucumber, corn, beans, peas, carrots, and several herbs.

Today I am paying the price.  I worked without even thinking about the sun.  I am burned to a crisp and very sore, an obvious indication that I need to get in shape.  It was well worth it.

University Life or Cow Town?

For several years now, probably about 10, I have had a goal to get a PhD.  I haven't been sure about the direction of the degree but I wanted to pursue it.  I applied to several programs in late 2007 for admittance in Fall 2008.  I was accepted to a couple of them without funding and the timing wasn't right with the progress I was making toward obtaining the LCSW (which is the licensure that allows me to practice independently).  I deferred at one program and applied again at another to enter Fall 2009.  Just over two weeks ago now I received a notification of admittance to a PhD program at the University of Utah, this time with funding!  

I thought this would be an easy decision, but when it came right down to it, Tania and I found ourselves grappling with what we should do.  I notified my bosses right away about my predicament and asked what my future would look like if I remained at the Comprehensive Treatment Clinic.  After significant reflection, discussion, prayer, and fasting we decided that I would turn down the PhD program and remain in Cache Valley...at least for now.  This was one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever made!  We both felt that both options were very positive and promising.  We ultimately made our decision based off of the following (in no particular order):

1.  A move to the U would require that Tania get a new job and that I find a part-time job.  No school districts are hiring and options for therapist positions are very limited in this economy.

2.  I am beginning to establish a niche in the mental health community in Northern Utah and gaining (slowly) an expertise in my field with some cutting edge training.

3.  We are excited to settle and get a home.

4.  We are not particularly excited about drastically cutting our income and living as poor students again, particularly considering that this would delay buying a home until we are close to 35!

5.  My bosses are willing to provide some funding and flexibility for a doctoral degree at USU or a distance learning institution.

6.  We love Cache Valley, our little town, and our great ward.

7.  Tania just got called into the Relief Society presidency and the circumstances are such that it is clear the call is of the Lord.

Though this decision has been very hard, I've never been one to look back and continually second-guess myself.  We are moving forward and immediately started looking to build a home.  We have looked around quite a bit over the past year, mostly for fun.  We found a builder that we really like almost a year ago and haven't found anything we like as much since then.  So, that was the easy part.  We wanted to stay in the ward, which led us to look for lots inside our ward boundaries.  There are several for sale in this one-stop-light town but most of them are large lots outside of our price range.  I would have loved to buy a .8 acre lot and have a huge garden and fruit trees, but finances simply won't allow.  Our ward has a brand new subdivision full of younger couples and families.  Several lots sit empty in the neighborhood, so we called to see if any were available.  To our disappointment, the last lot was picked up the previous week.  Just as we were beginning to think staying in the ward wouldn't be possible the selling agent for the subdivision called to tell us that the contract had fallen through.

Everything has moved very quickly!  In no more than 5 months we hope to be saying goodbye to great-grandpa Olsen's shoe shop, which has actually been a nice little place...

 

...And moving onto a .3 acre lot in "Richmond Meadow Estates" (which sounds much more fancy than it is).

 A view of the lot from the west.  It is a corner lot and stretches from the street to the white fence.

A view of the lot from the south.  Again, the lot stretches from the street to the end of the white fence.  If all goes according to plan we will be building "The Magnolia".

It will be primarily light blue with some darker blue and white.  We will also have more rock exterior.

We are huge fans of the exterior and the floor plan.  The "office" will actually be a parlor/living room/home teacher room.  We will also have an unfinished basement with cold storage.

An offer was made on the lot and accepted.  We are now in contract for the land and construction.  Now, it's just a matter of picking everything out and preparing specific plans.  Once plans are submitted to the lender and we get the pre-authorization they can start digging!  We are hoping to get this done as quickly as we can, mostly to get locked in while interest rates are low.  I know this is horrible to say but we are really hoping the economy stays in the dumps for another 4-5 months so that interest rates don't begin to rise.

We are excited and scared to death all at the same time!

Stronger Than Many Waters

Almost a year ago I wrote a post entitled 'Moses 1 and the Temple'.  I discussed Satanic style - the patterns of temptation and manipulation by the Adversary - as presented in Moses chapter 1.  The idea in such a discussion was to share a few thoughts and insights that I have learned in striving to be more aware of how Satan interacts with us.  With that awareness we are hopefully in a better position to combat his tactics in a difficult world.  I mentioned that in a future post I would like to outline how Moses, in a most intense interaction with the Evil One, stands as an exemplar of precisely how to do that.  This is finally that post.  Before I get to Moses, though, I will quickly review the Satanic style as seen in Moses chapter 1 and in the temple ceremony.

1)  Satan's influence is exerted both before AND after spiritual experiences.  He attempts to prevent them before and cause us to doubt, forget, or diminish them after.

2)  Satan would have us focus on our carnal nature rather than our divine nature.  He cleverly stresses "son of man" to distract us from the more inspiring truth "son of God".  He would have us embrace our inclinations, tendencies, and proclivities toward the things of the world and of the flesh.

3)  Satan cleverly commands us to worship him, as if we have no choice.  To worship is to love and to follow.  Today it seems this is generally done with subtle forms of authority rather than blatant "devil worshipping", such as:  You are this way so you must act.  You feel this way so you must follow.  You want this so you must obtain.  The world says this so you must agree.

4)  Satan attempts to cause us fear.  Fear leads to loss of confidence and faith that would otherwise lead us to God and His healing and redeeming power.

5)  Satan uses every tactic available, from subtlety to intimidation.  He does not go quietly.  When striving to overcome his tactics, things often get worse before they get better. Furthermore, we might also expect increased intensity in his dealings with us as we grow closer and closer to God.

You will recall that Moses 1 opens with the discussion of Moses having been "caught up" into an exceedingly high mountain where he beheld the glory of God and spoke to Him face to face.  It is a revelatory experience of historic proportions.   The Lord tells Moses that he is His son and created in the similitude of His only begotten.  He informs the future parter-of-seas and deliverer-of-nations that He has a work for him to do, though he does not yet detail what that work is.  Finally, He grants Moses the opportunity to see to "the ends of the earth" and "all the children of men" that were and ever will be created.  The vision closes, we learn, and mighty Moses is "left unto himself".  It is then that Satan comes "tempting him", using the above mentioned strategies.  As that tempting develops in the narrative Moses responds in ways that I believe provide insight for us in our own battles with the Adversary.

1)  As Satan tries to focus on the fact that Moses is a "son of man", that is to view himself from a carnal nature rather than a divine, the prophet counters him with what he had just been told by the Lord Himself.  He reminds himself and the Adversary that he is a son of God, created in the similitude of His Only Begotten, that is Jesus Christ.  Surely, there is a part of all of us that is "carnal, sensual, and devilish" but there is another part of us that yearns for something more, for something higher.  Lucifer would have us consumed in the former to the point that we are blinded to the latter.  We get too caught up in the weakness and struggle of the flesh, of the intellect, and of the world.  But, when we remember Whose we really are we can focus on who we really are.  Knowing who we really are leads us to knowing what we can accomplish and what we can become.  This knowledge gives us the confidence, understanding, and strength to rebuff Satan.  We are willing to "put off the natural man" for a more "eternal weight of glory".       

2)  Moses immediately contrasts what he saw in God and what he is now seeing in Satan.  He interacted with both face to face and he sees the Adversary's weakness.  He says, "Where is thy glory that I should worship thee?"  He further reminds the Evil One that he can look upon him in the flesh, but had to be transfigured to look upon God.  Moses is able to recognize that Satan neither has a body nor any glory at all.  There really is no comparison to the glory of God.  It is like contrasting the buildings and bling of Las Vegas to the majestic mountains and the star-filled heavens.  Attractive, intriguing, and grand in their own right, yet entirely inadequate.  We know that Satan can only have as much power over us as we allow him.  Part of his limitation, of course, is that he does not have a body, does not have any glory or light, and does not have any possibility for progression.  I think we would do well to follow Moses in recognizing the Adversary's lack of real impressiveness.            

3)  Moses has the Spirit of God with him and is able to both recognize it and use it to discern light from darkness.  He declares, "I can judge between thee and God".  The other day in scripture study, Tania and I were reading of the armor of God.  She reminded us that the only offensive weapon as described in the armor is the "sword of the Spirit".  It is, it seems, the only weapon at all.  All of the other pieces are defensive protections.  But the Spirit both pierces and protects.  The Holy Ghost teaches us all things and brings all things to our remembrance.  He will remind us of our divine nature and help us see Satan's weakness.  He will provide us with information that will pierce Satan's clever arguments and divide them asunder.  He will shield us from heavy blows and cheap shots.  If we want to conquer Satan, we need the Spirit as our sword.   

4)  On at least two occasions during the ordeal with Lucifer he-who-was-raised-on-Egyptian-mythology recalls the word and commandments of God and expresses faith in that word.  Later on in the drama of Good versus Evil, Jesus, the Master, uses the same tactic to combat the Great Tempter.  He prefaces each of his responses with, "It is written".  The lesson must be that we need to be familiar with God's word.  We must know his commands and be willing to follow them, no matter how interesting or stimulating the alternatives may be.  If we are familiar with such, we are in a position to counter the Adversary with what God has said on any subject and thereby not be fooled.  If we are not familiar with or converted to His word, we may be easily persuaded.  

5)  Moses casts the Adversary out and away four distinct times by saying such things as, "Get thee hence, Satan"; "Depart hence"; "Depart from me"; and lastly, "In the name of the Only Begotten, depart hence, Satan".  I think two lessons can be learned from this action.  First, that Satan doesn't leave you alone just because you tell him to or want him to.  In fact, like bad behavior of a toddler when you attempt to curb it, it may be magnified before it is eliminated.  Perhaps the key is persevering with persistence as you push him away.  Second, that it is the efficacy of worthily invoking the power of the Son and driving out Satan in His name that is ultimately successful.  

6)  Meek and mighty Moses acknowledges and resolves to Lucifer that he needs God, he wants God, and he will only worship God.  The great and spacious building can be extraordinarily inviting.  So much so that it skews perspective.  Holding fast to a rod seems so constraining when there is a party going on.  Eating pure white fruit by a tree appears boring and quaint compared to the beckoning calls of the influential and the succulent feasts of the proud.  But those pressing forward see what the wanderer does not, the cracking foundations of a poorly constructed building that will fall with a great and terrible crash.  With the perspective of all that Moses had just discovered, it is only logical that he would express his desire to follow the Lord.  He is ashamed neither of his dependence on God nor his desire to follow him.  He knows this truth, "Behold, and hearken..., saith the Lord your God, even Jesus Christ, your advocate, who knoweth the weakness of man and how to succor them who are tempted".      

 

7)  The prophet calls upon God throughout the entire episode to receive strength.  Alma exhorted, "But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit..."  The Lord encourages, "Pray always that you may come of conquerer; yea, that you may conquer Satan..."  Prayer is the conduit that keeps us connected to God and demonstrates our faith in His power of deliverance.  I find it interesting that only after Moses feared did he see the "bitterness of hell".  To ascend from the depths of the dark world, he called upon God and cast Satan out.

The outcome, most thankfully, is that Moses overcomes.  It is only then that the Lord reveals to Moses what his foreordained mission will be.  He is told that the Almighty has "chosen" him, that he will be "stronger than many waters", that God is with him, and that he will deliver the Lord's chosen people, Israel.  Moses is then granted an even more extensive vision and greater understanding of God's divine design.  

Perhaps it is a pattern for us all.