Landscaping

This summer we are taking on the project of landscaping our yard. After thousands of dollars, which is stressing me out, we are making good progress. It began with getting a final grade on our lot, which is made up of very fine quality Richmond CLAY. Then we had 3' boulders delivered to deal with a little slope in our front yard and also create a planter/flower bed. When the boulders arrived they looked ginormous and we were a bit concerned, but they turned out nice. After that we got our sprinklers done and then laid sod throughout the whole yard. We had lots of family and ward members help us out, which was greatly appreciated. We even lucked out with a nice day in the midst of a month straight of rainy weather.

About three days after we laid the sod it began to look terrible! We thought we were going to lose it, and this after all our neighbors had been telling us, "Oh, you can't screw up sod!" But apparently we were. With a little help from our landscaper neighbor, it came back from the brink of death.

We spent the next FHE planting flowers and shrubs in the bed in the front.

I could spend every day in the yard doing what needs to get done but we have been sidetracked by various events and visits to Salt Lake, not to mention the dreaded on-call routine. Anyway, the inaugural mowing occurred last week, which required the purchase of a mower and a weed-eater - more money! Finally yesterday I got to spend the whole day, from dawn until dusk, working on our projects. I stained the patio and back stairs with the help of my father-in-law, hauled in compost from a neighbor for the various gardens, and worked the rest of the day on an island planter in the front. Tania and I prepped the darn clay and mixed in compost and got it ready for planting. We took a trip to town to purchase plants at Lowe's. Unfortunately, we do not have a truck, van, or SUV. This meant that we had to fit a 9-10' tree into Tania's little Saturn. It was quite the task, particularly since Clara was SCREAMING her face off throughout the maneuvering. We received many a strange look from passers-by, but we finally did it by strategically placing the tree through the trunk into the back seat, over the front seat, and out the front passenger window. We managed to only break off 3-4 branches (probably not the best thing to do with a sapling)! It's been fun to see the progress and I enjoy doing the work, it's very cathartic.

Now to the back yard...

As Becometh a Latter-day Saint

The airwaves, internet connections, and great halls and parks across this nation have been filled with anger and contention over the past several months. Debates are raging about the current challenges facing the country and the course we will take into the future. Most prominent, of course, has been the health care bill, but there have been plenty of other issues about which to argue, such as the war in Afghanistan, climate change, education reform, immigration reform, and financial sector reform to name a few. The ubiquity of rancor in the rhetoric from all sides is beyond remarkable. There are movements and counter-movements, protests, rallies, riled up politicians, and provocative commentators; all bearing down in a power struggle that finds expression through showmanship as well as self-proclaimed and self-justified indignation. One politician or faction is incensed, fully convinced that their anger is righteous, and soon the antagonist is incensed at their opponent's being incensed.

It is in the midst of this political environment that I have recently been contemplating the appropriate Christian mindset and behavior in the realm of civic affairs and citizenship. As many of you know several members of the LDS church are prominent players in the current debates, including Harry Reid (a Democrat and current U.S. Senate majority leader), Glenn Beck (a libertarian/conservative who is an author, radio host, and Fox News commentator), and Mitt Romney (a Republican and former governor of Massachusetts, as well as candidate for the presidency), among others. My thoughts are in no way commentary on any of these individuals specifically. Rather, they are insights that flow from a personal effort to better understand the teachings of the Savior to guide my own thoughts, feelings, and actions in the domain of politics and public policy.

I have been asking myself the question, what would Jesus do? That very question, or one similar to it, was posed to Mike Huckabee during a 2008 presidential primary debate. He cleverly stated something to the effect that Jesus would be smart enough to stay out of politics! Perhaps so...but in reality his response was just a fun way to dodge the question. What would Jesus do? And what would he have us do? I am not talking about which side of the issue the Savior would fall down on, or which side of the aisle He would have us join. I'm talking about how He would have us behave in the conversations about the issue and how He would have us interact with the person across the aisle.

The Lord through His servants has repeatedly stated that we should be involved in the political process, that we should be informed about the issues, that we should vote, and that we should even run for office where there is interest and ability. He has also said that His church will not endorse political parties or philosophies. The church, of course, will speak out on moral issues in public policy, for which it is much maligned both outside and inside of the general membership. Opinions about the political issues of our time are left to the discretion of the individual with encouraged assistance from the Holy Ghost, even on those moral questions about which the church does make statements. Therefore, there is plenty of room for members of the church with equal levels of faith and conversion to differ widely on a political issue. In this sense I wonder if Christ would be less concerned about the merits or non-merits of health care reform and more concerned about our spiritual health as manifest by the way we care for each other as we debate.

It is concerning to me when as members of the church we look to a political commentator, ideology, or platform to guide our beliefs and behavior more than to the Lord and His doctrine. I have seen members who passionately follow the ideology and rhetoric of leading national figures or groups simply because they are affiliated with a party to which they belong or are endorsed by groups that they identify with. For example, the latter-day saint who takes a conservative position only because it is endorsed by the Republican party and is frequently talked about by other conservative Christian groups, but in actuality is not in harmony with LDS doctrine or understanding. Or, the latter-day saint who takes a liberal professional position only because it is endorsed by the National Association of Social Workers and frequently talked about by the majority of mental health professionals, but in fact is at odds with LDS doctrine and understanding. In both cases the personal opinion is derived from the philosophies of men and a need for belonging in the world, rather than from the truths of God and a comfort with being "peculiar". Tragically for some, religious doctrine is rejected or accepted based off political or social philosophy instead of the reverse - guiding political and social positions from a foundation of true doctrine. Indeed, these positions, and more importantly the mode of expression thereof, do not always seem congruent with Christian discipleship.

It is also troublesome to me when members of the church in conspicuous positions are maligned by other members of the church who have joined the bandwagons of villanization and objectification in their political rhetoric. Even when the target is not a member of the church this is bothersome. Of course, many say that they do not have anything against the person, just their positions. But, the name-calling and mocking often reveal contempt and even hatred. It seems to me that if Harry Reid or Glenn Beck were in my priesthood quorum I would be under the same invitation to love them and be united with them as I would with any brother in the Gospel, whether or not I agree with their political beliefs, statements, or affiliations. I happen to know that Elder Scott gave Harry Reid a hug at General Conference this past weekend and Elder Oaks has met with President Obama and was gracious and kind.

This really isn't just an LDS issue though. The contempt and rage of which I speak is swirling and swelling in every part of the nation, across religion, race, and culture. But of all people, should we not stand out in our political and social behavior? So, what would Jesus say and what would Jesus do? I am not so presumptuous as to suggest I know. However, the scriptures, which are His words and teachings, lend answers.

The standard works have much to say about anger, contention, and wrath. The Lord counsels his children over and over again to avoid such behavior. Here is just a sampling of references:

"Cease from anger and forsake wrath." (Psalms 37:8)

"A soft answer turneth away wrath." (Proverbs 15:1,18)

"Contention is of the devil." (3 Nephi 11:29-30)

"Proclaim my word...not in haste, neither in wrath, nor with strife." (D&C 60:7,14)

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind,...is not easily provoked." (Moroni 7:45)

"Put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth." (Colossians 3:8)

Anger can be intoxicating and addictive. There is often excitement and adrenaline with the drama of anger. We can easily be consumed in the powerful feelings incited by triggers of anger. There is a bit of a thrill in "going to battle" and advocating a cause or railing against an opponent.

Yet, anger is not necessarily an evil emotion. In my profession I teach anger management skills and classes fairly often. I teach my clients that anger as an emotion is not of itself a problem. The problem is what we do with that emotion. Do we allow it to control us? Do we harbor it in our soul to poison our feelings? Do we act out in aggression and violence? Do we manipulate or oppress? Anger is actually a primary emotional circuit in our brain. It serves in part to protect and to motivate. It is, I believe, God-given just like all the other emotions we experience. Think about it, if anger is evil or bad there would not be a trace of it in God's personality and character. God is perfect and perfectly good, and God has anger. Consider these examples:

"In a little wrath I hid my face from them." (Isaiah 54:8)

"Iniquity provoketh him that he sendeth down his wrath." (Alma 12:36)

"...The Lord in his wrath, for his anger was kindled against them..." (D&C 84:24)

"The wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience." (Colossians 3:6)

The 1st and 2nd cleansing of the temple (John 2:14-17; Matthew 21:12-15)

How do we then reconcile these ideas? I think there are a couple of possibilities, which are purely my own opinion that has developed as I have thought about these principles. First; feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are different things. It is one thing to feel anger, another to think angry, and another to act in anger. All of these phenomena may be experienced simultaneously but can also be separated. I may feel angry and develop hateful thoughts then go out and rage in protests, hurling insults and epithets; or I may feel angry and develop helpful thoughts then channel that emotion into actions that contribute to solutions. It seems to me that God is more concerned about what we do with our feelings in our thoughts and actions than He is with the feeling itself.

Second, it appears that anger should be acted upon only at the direction of the Spirit and always in a manner that is consistent with the Lord's commandments to be patient, long-suffering, and forgiving. For example, in the Doctrine and Covenants we learn we should "reprove betimes (immediately) with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards and increase in love..." (D&C 121:43).

Third, God reserves acting on anger in wrath to Himself, just as He reserves judgment to Himself, because of His perfect omniscience and omnipotence. The Lord has the ability to see situations clearly that to us are clouded by our limited perception. He "looketh on the heart" where we tend only to see the "outward appearance".

Therefore, it seems to me that the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ invites us to use anger that we experience as a reaction to political and social events or circumstances in a constructive way. The gospel invites us to school our feelings and reject angry, contentious, and hateful thoughts and behavior for the Christ-like attributes of charity. There is no caveat or exception regarding political debate or behavior. So shall we be mum and passive? Shall we avoid discussion or participation? NO! We can be examples of civil debate and "Christian courage". We can join the conversation without joining the hate. We can criticize positions and policies without attacking the character of our brother. We can follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost to recognize and denounce evil without "railing accusations" (D&C 50:33). Even in the most passionate and emotional debates we must stand apart from the crowd and disengage from the drama of disdain.

I for one am still learning to school my feelings and to respond as the Lord would have me respond, particularly to some of the most emotionally charged issues of our day. I think this is the standard that I would like to reach - the standard of God. The Savior was our perfect examplar. He did not shy away from discussions or controversy but He didn't grandstand either. When His detractors were "past feeling" and full of contempt, such that any response would go unheard and only invite mocking and scorn, He "answered nothing".

A White Envelope and a Few Short Steps

The last several months have been very eventful! I've been meaning to post for a long time now but have had so many other to-do items on my list that I haven't gotten around to it. Hopefully the new year and some settling in will give me a few more opportunities to be consistent. Tania has posted pictures of the baby on her blog here, and I plan to post some of my experiences with our little one too.

1999 was an eventful year for me. I graduated from high school, I had my first girlfriend, I travelled across Europe with a choir, I received my mission call, I received my endowment in the temple, and I entered the MTC and began my full-time missionary service. In fact, it was 10 years ago this week (before the turn of the new year) that my family made that 45-minute trek to Provo in our old blue Suburban to drop me off.

I received my call on October 13, 1999. I knew the day my papers had been submitted to headquarters and had calculated the probable arrival date of the call. Justin and I were both awaiting our calls, though he had sent his papers in a week previous. Somehow we had it figured out that the calls would likely come on a Wednesday. I had been anxiously awaiting this moment for a very long time. I had wanted to be a missionary from the time I was a little boy. I don't know exactly from where the feeling came but it was strong enough that beginning on December 29, 1998, one day after my 18th birthday, I began a countdown in my journal to the date I could turn in my papers.

Perhaps it came from an encounter I had as a very young child with President Ezra Taft Benson. I can't remember how old I was but I couldn't have been more than 5 or 6. President Benson was to be attending my aunt's ward's sacrament meeting. I imagine my parents decided to attend to allow us an experience of being in the presence of the prophet. I remember very few details of the meeting. I do remember, however, the opportunity to file by the prophet at the close of the meeting to shake his hand. When my turn arrived the president shook my hand and said, "My boy, some day you will be a great missionary." I do not recall particular emotional reactions associated with this special event, but clearly it was an encounter that has stayed with me all these years. The words meant something to me. I don't know if the president made similar comments to all of the little boys that day as they filed by, but I felt that he was speaking directly to me.

I waited at the front door behind the glass screen as the mail woman pulled up to our rickety mailbox on that autumn day. My brother Shayne and my mom stood there with me. I stared in anticipation toward the box, awaiting the visual that would be the dead give-away the call had come - a large, thick, white envelope. The woman filed through the mail in her truck, reached out, opened the box, and extended her hand full of mail...holding the long-awaited package! I rushed to the mailbox and immediately looked for the confirmation I needed, a return address from 50 E. South Temple St. I jumped in excitement and I may have even picked up my little brother and twirled him around, which is rather humorous to think of now, especially since he is quite a bit bigger than me these days. What can I say? I'm slightly given to cheesiness. I ran around the corner to Justin's house. We had walked through the anticipation and the application process together over the previous year. He ran out of his house as I turned the corner. We met at his mailbox where he also found the blessed white envelope with the same return address.

That night we opened the calls together in my living room, with our families watching. We had waited for my dad to get home from work, so it would have been at least 9:30 or so. We sang Called to Serve and after the customary who-can-guess-where-they're-going game, I went first. Many destinations had crossed my mind in considering where the Lord might send me, but not once did I consider Rome, Italy. Yet, it was perfect. It just clicked in my heart as naturally as seeing a sunset in the evening. Of course it was Rome. I seem to remember that I could barely get through reading the letter. I was prone to tears back then too, especially in a state of such excitement, anxiety, and spiritual influence. I knew the call was of God. I laid in bed that night and was overcome with a feeling of love for the Italian people, and those souls who were spoken of in my patriarchal blessing yet unfamiliar to me.

The next two-and-a-half months flew by. Finally, the day arrived. I was set apart on my birthday. The same day I had been baptized 11 years before. I stayed up well into the morning finishing packing and writing a personalized letter to each member of my family. With very little sleep and a brave face, so as not reveal my trepidation, we piled into that old Suburban. The ride was not quiet, that doesn't happen in my family. It was loud, all of us pretending that we didn't have to say goodbye within a couple of hours. I remember we stopped at Hire's for lunch and then made our way to the MTC. You all know how it goes from there. The meeting room, the movies, the short talks, and then a few moments to say goodbye. Needless to say, a lot of tears were shed. I still have a picture of the back of my head, my brother hugging me and facing the camera with red, puffy eyes. Then the cue was given.

And just like that I walked through a door, a few short steps away from the life I had always known and into the life of a missionary. I put on a tag as a symbol and a stamp of what had been done the day before and began the journey from boy to man. It would become the most significant experience of my life. It was a refining journey, an adventure filled with fear and faith, discouragement and miracles, inadequacy and confidence, buffeting and great spiritual power. It was a period of fun, sensitivity, love, and growth. It is there that I began to learn what discipleship is really about.

It is hard to believe that ten years have passed since that eventful day in Provo, Utah. A day that set me on a path of preparation for all that has transpired since then. Unfortunately, the memories of that day and the next two years are fading. I no longer lie in bed at night and go through names and places or trace city streets. It takes me awhile to remember words and faces. I no longer feel the discouragement and inadequacy that I sometimes felt in my service, but I still feel the love and the joy. That, I believe, is a merciful gift from our Heavenly Father. I am as thankful now as I ever was, that ten years ago a knowing Father called a scared little boy to be one of His emissaries in a vast and complex world. My life has ever been shaped and influenced because of everything that was brought about by a big white envelope and a few short steps. God be thanked that He saw fit to call me when He did, where He did, and how He did. That is a reason for me to reflect and commemorate!

Home Sweet Home

We finally moved into our new home a little over two weeks ago!  We enjoyed our little bungalow rental house but we are glad to be in our own home.  The only bad thing about moving in is all the work we want to do with it before the baby comes.  We have to put in a mailbox, fix some of our tiling, paint, buy furniture for the nursery and the living room, and install some hand towel rods.  I suppose it is only the beginning of many more things to come. Thank you to everyone who helped us in the move.  These pictures are taken a few days before we moved in and before the final clean up.

The annual family Halloween party was held at Lisel's house.  Here are all of our nephews and niece on my side of the family, from youngest to oldest.

The newest arrival, Ammon, as a crocodile with grandma

Logan, the pirate, with grandpa

Little Lily is Tinkerbell

Caleb is Peter Pan

Landon is Captain Hook

Zach is the Indian chief (I forgot if he has a name)

Coming Along

The house is coming along nicely.  We've had a busy few weeks...

First, our contractor told us that he would give us two weeks notice to do our flooring (we installed the tile in the bathrooms and mudroom, as well as the wood in the entry and kitchen). Instead, he gave us a little over one week.  I took a day off work, which does not come easily, and we were all ready to go.  The afternoon before we were to begin the contractor called us and told us that he would have to move the days from Thursday through Saturday to Saturday through Tuesday!  Uh, sorry dude, that just isn't going to work for us.  I had already cleared all my clients on Thursday so it would have been pointless to work and there was no way I could take Tuesday off.  Strange thing is, he acted very annoyed, like we were being unreasonable.  Anyway, we finally got it worked out but didn't get started until the painters left on Thursday at 6:00 p.m.  We had a whirlwind weekend with several very late nights, and there may have been some Sabbath breaking in there too.  To top it off, Tania got the flu and was incapacitated for a couple of those days!  Thank goodness we had lots of help. 

Me, mixing some cement.

All of our equipment

Ty, cutting a piece of tile.

Matt and the bottom-half of Shayne working on the wood in the entry.

Making progress with the tile.

Our neighbor's brother was an answer to prayer and helped us with the wood in the kitchen.

The finished entry (though dirty) with our sweet banister in the background.

We greatly appreciate all of the help we got.  Thanks again to Tania's mom and step-dad, my parents, Matt and Lisel, Tyler (and Shannon who let him come even though it's one of the few days they have together), and Shayne.  Mike and Trish would have been there too but Mike had to work.  We also couldn't have done it without our neighbors who let us use tools, saws, hose and water, provided expertise, and even brought over food!  We are moving into a great neighborhood!

While we were doing the floors we noticed something seriously wrong with the family room.  They framed one of the windows in the wrong place, causing the room to be quite asymmetrical.  It had already been painted and everything.  This dilemma required cutting a new whole in the correct location and covering up the old.

The window in the correct place now.

The inside took off quickly once the floors were done.  We got cabinets, counter tops, plumbing fixtures, and electrical.  After a weekend in Salt Lake we came back and checked on the house.  We found that they had laid the carpet padding and cut out all the carpet itself, though they hadn't tacked it down yet.  Immediately we recognized something wasn't right.  The carpet was way too dark.  I called the carpet place but they insisted that the name and number on our sample was the name and number that was in our house.  We still knew something was off.  Tania took the sample to the store and convinced the associate to check it out.  Sure enough, the name and number on the back of our sample was the wrong name and number for that piece of sample.  So the carpet they were installing was correct according to name and number but not the carpet we wanted and had chosen.  That was quickly corrected and we soon had carpet too.

The exterior has been slow.  They have been siding now forever and they told us they were going to pour steps and sidewalks on Monday but still haven't gotten to that.  Nevertheless, if all goes according to plan they should be done next Monday and we should definitely be in the house by the end of the month!